Michangelina's Universe

Untitled Masterpiece

2010-09-06T21:14:00.001-07:00

For anyone who has some free time, I wrote a short story and titled it "Untitled Masterpiece". This work is a personal narrative based off a dark experience in my lifetime when I had an epiphany. My writing is not much different than my poetry. Open to constructive criticism.
Untitled Masterpiece (Google Document)

Chocolate

2010-08-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Respected Stalkers of Michangelina's Unverse,

The purpose of this post is to inform my audience that I am accepting questions via email, instant messaging, blog comments, or vis a vis. I will answer as many questions as possible on a regular basis from now on. The goal is to keep my blog alive instead of the ghost town it is.

My first question was unfortunately not a philosophical one. However, it was amusing:

MIND BOGGLING QUESTION:
"You have to choose between coffee, chocolate, and cheesecake. Which do you choose and why? The why needs to explain why the other stuff wasn't good enough, etc."

MIND BOGGLING ANSWER:
My friends know that I have five C's of happiness: caffeine/coffee, chocolate, cheesecake, Coldplay, and cats. These things make me happy and without them I wouldn't be on this planet. My friend made me decide between three of these items, all of which are food, and pick only one. This is a difficult decision but I have an answer.
First, let's discuss cheesecake. As delectable and rich of a pastry it is, it is rare and only for special occasions. I already acknowledge the fact that I am capable of surviving without cheesecake.
Secondly, coffee, as much as I respect its high content of caffeine there are other sources of caffeine: tea, energy drinks, juice, etc. I love green tea and drink it on a weekly basis. It is a healthier source than coffee and contains nearly the same amount of caffeine. So, I can eliminate coffee.
Thirdly, chocolate is my final answer because chocolate is unlike anything else in this world. Vanilla? How can vanilla compare? It can't. Hazelnut? No, it's not as bittersweet as the harvested cocoa beans. Chocolate has caffeine and is in many foods. Without chocolate in my life, I could not survive. Another confession of a chocoholic.

That is my answer for today. Please feel free to comment on my answer and/or ask a new question. Thank you.

Radioactive Heart

2010-08-12T15:43:00.000-07:00

My poetry block disintegrated in my cerebrospinal fluid. Please excuse my scientific terminology. I often radicalize concepts to their simplest of means: principles of science. This poem is written with seventeen syllable lines with internal rhyming. (Same as the song, "Unintended" by Muse.) Also influenced by Kraftwerk's song, "Radioactivity". The format was a challenge to work through but I defeated it.

[Radioactive Heart]

Darkness obscured your danger sign, imperceptible but not benign.
My dreams flowed into a high electric field, our minds taped and concealed--
Your heart was radioactive; all my emotions were refractive.
I sacrificed full support before the strings were cut short.
The promising harmony in our memorized words matched us backwards.
"There is always a possibility" . . . caused susceptibility . . .
Bitten by beating betrayal was a poor, pitiful portrayal.
Heart radioactive, skin magnetic, and eyes apologetic--
I emitted isotopic tears as I enveloped my vile fears,
A sharp gamma knife damaging our decayed friendship by a half-life.
Heart radioactive, skin magnetic, and eyes apologetic--
The nuclear attraction in the atmosphere of chain reaction.
Exponentially drifting apart in your radioactive heart.

Fifty Five

2010-04-11T22:43:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful poem written by a beautiful friend of mine.

Fifty-five

By Monique Pressley

One for my mom, two for my dad

Three for the family that I never had

Four for the friends I know that I’ll miss

Hey, can you tell me, what is this “bliss”?

Five for the person I wanted to be

Hey can you still recognize me?

Six for my love who went away

Please just tell me that you’ll stay

Seven for the sake of luck

And all my feelings that have

Run amuck.

Eight for the wish of eternal sleep.

I sure do hope that no one weeps.

Nine for this name of mine.

I hope that it won’t change with time.

Ten more pills in this bottle of sin.

I’ll empty it now and begin again.

Time Lords

2010-03-18T02:09:00.001-07:00

So there's a rumor that Doctor Who's real name is: Chrístõdavõreendiamondhærtmallõupdracœfiredelúnmiancuimhne de Lœngbærrow... Chrístõ to his close friends. I watched "The Library" episode today and found it puzzling. By far, my favorite

episode. The Doctor also goes by Theta Sigma "ΘΣ"... That's an interesting nickname. I'm going to write it on my AP Statistics notebook. It'll blend right in.

...I thought I had a long name... Goodness.

Cracked Film

2010-03-12T08:06:00.000-08:00

This morning I wrote this poem. It's not perfect iambic pentameter... However, it is written in pentameter... I didn't truncate the poem either but I like it because it's simple.

Cracked Film
If I cannot dream in any other hue,
Then stretched upon my eyes sticks a blue film,
Therefore my cornea cracks and shatters
Because irises trick both the fake and true.

Proof of Time's Arrow

2010-02-21T18:55:00.001-08:00

This has been waiting to be published forever now. So I finally did. Mostly written in free style, with the exception of rhyming couplets.

Proof of Time's Arrow

How do we distinguish between fact and fiction?

I want the truth without the friction--

No such thing as absolute truth,

No presence of evidence or proof,

No memory of facts and data,

Philosophy’s delusion is tearing me apart--

Forgetting Descartes . . .

I want,

I need,

I sense,

My hierarchy of needs is reversed;

All incentive is dispersed.

To love illogically,

To enforce and regulate,

To believe what you are told,

Where does it all become narrow?

Traveling through time’s arrow--

The Resistance

2010-02-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

THE RESISTANCE by MUSE

Is your secret safe tonight?
And are we out of sight?
Or will our world come tumblin' down?
Will they find our hiding place?
Is this our last embrace?
Or will the walls start caving in?

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
But it should've been right
Let our hearts ignite
Are we digging a hole?
This is outta control
It could never last
Must erase it fast
But it could've been right
(It could be wrong, could be)

Love is our resistance
They keep us apart and they won't stop breaking us down
And hold me, our lips must always be sealed

If we live our life in fear I'll wait a thousand years
Just to see you smile again
Quell your prayers for love and peace
You'll wake the thought police
We can hide the truth inside

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
But it should've been right
Let our hearts ignite
Are we digging a hole?
This is outta control
It could never last
Must erase it fast
But it could've been right
(It could be wrong, could be)

Love is our resistance
They keep us apart and won't stop breaking us down
And hold me, our lips must always be sealed

The night has reached its end
We can't pretend, we must run
We must run It's time to run ..
Take us away from here
Protect us from further harm
Resistance

This song is about a dystopian science fiction novel titled, "Nineteen Eighty-Four" published by George Orwell in 1949. The Novel is about about the totalitarian regime of the Party and happens to be one of my favorite books. These lyrics by Muse really describe the relationship the main protagonist, Winston Smith, had with Julia. The Party was trying to destroy all human emotion in society including love. WAR IS PEACE, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, and IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH is the three slogans of Big Brother their main political leader. "LOVE IS RESISTANCE" is certainly another slogan that would fit. I love bands that recognize the meaning of literature and write lyrics about it.

A Quote

2010-01-19T19:07:00.000-08:00

"I hate this feeling. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Like someone cares. But they don't. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here, and escape lies just past that snowy window, cool and crisp as the February air. I considered the streets beyond, bleak as the bleached bones of wilderness scaffolding my heart. Just a stone's throw away."
— Ellen Hopkins

True.

For quite some time now, I have lacked the inspiration to complete any poem writing. Out my window, it's drizzling. It's been raining for the past two days. It's unusual for a desert climate. I love the scent of rain-- It smells like the Earth: natural, blue and green. Maybe it'll pop up-- (When my journal isn't with me, of course). Haha.

Pre-Theory

2009-12-28T22:59:00.001-08:00

Please compare.

This is a picture of a neural network in a human brain:

This is a picture of a cluster of galaxies taken by an x-ray telescope done by research in Harvard:

Question: Why are they connected so intricately?

Translation: Mon Cœur S'ouvre à Ta Voix

2009-11-28T16:57:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love foreign languages. I have studied three years of Spanish in high school. I remember my first year of Spanish being the easiest class ever. Then, Spanish II Honors became slightly more complicated but I had Senor Bidwell who taught us nothing but hilarious stories about his trips to Spain... and Spanish III Honors with Senora Donley was the most exhausting class I have ever taken. I decided not to take Spanish IV AP since the AP exam is impossible unless you are fluent. This year, I decided to take Chinese I because I plan on traveling to China over the course of this summer. However, I've yet to learn many things. As for other languages, I know a little bit of Latin, Japanese, and German. French has always been a big mystery to me... When Muse decided to write a song titled "I Belong to You/Mon Cœur S'ouvre à Ta Voix" I immediately fell in love with it. I found the translation online. It's beautiful. I want to learn French now. In college, I'll probably continue to take a foreign language as an elective because I think it's interesting. They say you only need two credits of a foreign language for most college applications, I have four! It's fun for me.

Mon Cœur S'ouvre à Ta Voix (My Heart Opens to the Sound of Your Voice)

Ah! Réponds, (Ah! Respond to my tenderness!)
Réponds à ma tendresse (Respond to my tenderness!)
Verse-moi, verse-moi l'ivresse! (Pour out to me, pour out to me the euphoria!)
Réponds à ma tendresse! (Respond to my tenderness!)
Réponds à ma tendresse! (Respond to my tenderness!)
Ah! Verse-moi l'ivresse! (Ah! Pour out to me the euphoria!)

A Lullaby

2009-11-16T17:25:00.000-08:00

This poem I wrote today was inspired by a forest fire of creativity. I wrote it with rhyming couplets that have no particular style. This is also inspired to a specific insomniac I know. I only hope it brings him a peace of mind. :)

A Lullaby
An ambition engaged in every root of our hearts,
Blue and brown irises' voyage soon departs . . .
Caressing each other's serene souls to slowly decompress;
Admiration speculates a versatile we never suppress,
Adoration mesmerizes the tranquility of the night,
Affection reflected infinitely like two mirrors nearby,
Attachment is as vital as respiring when whispering goodbye--
Calling out to you this lullaby . . .
Behind our closed eyelids entering the fifth-stage door,
A dream deep in our coexisting core.

Truth or Dare

2009-11-15T14:56:00.000-08:00

"Truth or Dare" is the only game in the world that keeps female adolescents up until two in the morning. The scariest part is I don't remember much of anything. All I know is that our brains became exhausted and we couldn't exert enough energy to do any dares. So we all started to play truth. I am not sure if any of us lied. I'm sure a few of us did. Overall, I don't feel like I revealed anything. I just know I am tired.

I look gangster today wearing a large Pirates of the Caribbean hoodie. It's warm and makes me very happy. The weather out today is freezing. It's going to be as low as 38 degrees today. I feel like I'm scamming my own blog by not writing anything worthwhile. I am trying to poke my creativity from it's deep slumber. I keep getting an error message.

Bliss

2009-11-08T15:30:00.000-08:00

Alas, a new poem.
I had a tremendous amount of difficulty with this poem. The problem is the style it's written in: a sonnet with ten lines, in iambic pentameter, "AB" rhyming scheme, mild alliteration, and scientific metaphors... My desire to write such a complex poem turned out to be very limited and the message did not get entirely across. I plan on rewriting it as a free verse... which will probably be more interesting. Also, this poem was inspired by someone totally awesome. <3

B l i s s

Gravity pulls my soul against the ground--

Pressure from my mind pounds bullet proof glass,

Fragile by frequencies of intense sound.

Your stance is a statue marching through grass...

Such divine and determined dialects.

My world spirals you into my orbit,

You're my satellite the sun reflects;

Other stars dim by the light you transmit--

Your whispers shiver me to stay awake,

The bliss your magnetic blue eyes partake...

The Controversy of Pandas

2009-09-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

Greetings. In this blog post, I will discuss both sides to the argument of panda research.

"The giant panda is the rarest member of the bear family and among the world’s most threatened animals. It is universally loved, and has a special significance for WWF as it has been the organization's logo since 1961, the year WWF was founded." (http://www.worldwildlife.org/)

According to my friend Amber Petty, she has a passion and interest for pandas. Although, in contrast, science teacher, Mr. Bycraft, states that he dislikes pandas because they make no effort to conserve their species and thinks it's ridiculous how much researchers spend on panda research. A poll done in The Gaurdian UK Newspaper states: 71% say save it 29% say not to. Millions of dollars are spent, and often wasted, on panda breeding and research.

I did a little more research and discovered that panda chocolate bars exist!(www.chocolatebar.com) That's an epic win! In my opinion, I think pandas deserve every dime of research they get. Plus, I love pandas too because Key Club International supports them as their mascot at my school. Yay! Today I purchased a WWF shirt.

Twinkie Research

2009-09-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

Twinkies contain synthetic material and nanotechnology. This is my blog post about the amazingness of twinkies and the things hidden inside of them...

Here is my Twinkie research:

The History of Twinkies:

1933 - Twinkies were introduced by The Continental Baking Company in Indianapolis, which also made "Wonder Bread" and had a snack line your probably familiar with called Hostess. One of their bakers named James A. Dewar got the idea for the "Twinkie" while he delivered one of their products, a cream filled strawberry shortcake. The machines to make these sat idle when the strawberry season was over so he came up with an idea to use them to make a snack cake filled with a banana filling, and only charge a nickel for a package of 2. It was good idea as money was tight for people during the great depression.

The Ingredients of Twinkies (supposedly):

Enriched Wheat Flour - enriched with ferrous sulphate (iron), B vitamins (niacin, thiamine mononitrate [B1], ribofavin [B12] and folic acid). Sugar, Corn syrup, Water, High fructose corn syrup, Vegetable and/or animal shortening - containing one or more of partially hydrogenated soybean, cottonseed or canola oil, and beef fat, Dextrose, Whole eggs, Modified corn starch, Cellulose gum, Whey, Leavenings (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, monocalcium phosphate), Salt, Cornstarch, Corn flour, Corn syrup solids, Mono and diglycerides, Soy lecithin, Polysorbate 60, Dextrin, Calcium caseinate, Sodium stearol lactylate, Wheat gluten, Calcium sulphate, Natural and artificial flavors, Caramel color, Sorbic acid (to retain freshness), Color added (yellow 5, red 40)

The Suspected Ingredients (including the following objects such as...microchips):

Nanotechnology, Microchips, Synthetic Material, Poison (mainly arsenic. hence why you dont know it's there. its tasteless!), Cancer, Diabetes, Cockroaches

Why We Eat Them Anyway:

Well, they are super inexpensive. Can last forever, they never expire. And taste yummy!

The Bottled Message

2009-09-03T17:08:00.000-07:00

I had to write a free-verse poem for English class about my first memory and I had to write in style similar to Walt Whitman's. For the most part, I followed directions, with the exception it came out nothing like Walt Whitman's style.

~THE BOTTLED MESSAGE~

The hue of the sun was sweet, round, reddish-yellow citrus orange,

Light was illuminating in scattered patterns throughout the pines and willows of the park.

The sunset traveling deep into the brown irises' core--

The plump child's fingers intertwined with her mother's hand;

Life consisted of butterflies and undisturbed reality . . .

The flowing stream and wooden bridge circling the park in San Diego,

Water-- how mystifying and powerful to a small girl with a smile,

She had created a message. Her message. Her art. Her scrawled piece of work.

The abstract scrap was rolled into a glass bottle--

The stream seemed to pass in a circular pattern . . .

The mother placidly lifted the shiny bottled and motioned her to drop it--

Reluctant to have her message released,

To be discovered. Her first secret.

"Let go. Let someone else look upon your message someday."

The girl let go.

She watched the bottle flow away into the orange hue . . .

The girl wanted it to come back;

Perhaps, just maybe, the river was circular.

A river with no displacement--

IT wasn't the distance the message traveled that mattered;

Inside of the young girl, it was the motion that kept her heart moving . . .

Ethical Issues in Advanced Artificial Intelligence

2009-07-31T12:21:00.001-07:00

Anyone with concern about A.I. please read this article:

"ABSTRACT: The ethical issues related to the possible future creation of machines with general intellectual capabilities far outstripping those of humans are quite distinct from any ethical problems arising in current automation and information systems. Such superintelligence would not be just another technological development; it would be the most important invention ever made, and would lead to explosive progress in all scientific and technological fields, as the superintelligence would conduct research with superhuman efficiency. To the extent that ethics is a cognitive pursuit, a superintelligence could also easily surpass humans in the quality of its moral thinking. However, it would be up to the designers of the superintelligence to specify its original motivations. Since the superintelligence may become unstoppably powerful because of its intellectual superiority and the technologies it could develop, it is crucial that it be provided with human-friendly motivations. This paper surveys some of the unique ethical issues in creating superintelligence, and discusses what motivations we ought to give a superintelligence, and introduces some cost-benefit considerations relating to whether the development of superintelligent machines ought to be accelerated or retarded."

Bostrom, Nick http://www.nickbostrom.com/ethics/ai.html

Makes Me Ponder

2009-07-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

Don't you often find yourself pondering?

Missing someone is a painful experience I never thought I would so terribly miss one human male. A pulsing surge of new, longing energy, I have never quite emotionally felt before. This sensation is likely to be a high infatuation. Love is too much like a drug, I tried to avoid it but after so much exposure to it, I began to crave it more and more. Forgive me if I am wrong, my mentality is disarranged and unable to function properly. Every psychiatrist in the world is tired and fed up with adolescents falling in and out of love as often as one leaves their home and goes back inside.

It is complicated… but I must say I do certainly agree with the psychiatrists’ outlook on adolescent love and I will ridicule myself to prove that they are right. There should be a clear message... no wrong terminology... a clear warning that love makes us do crazy things. Instead, that small but profoundly noteworthy warning is subliminal. A mere hum in the background of the loud commotion of chemicals firing between neurons at a billion per second. Makes you ponder.

Summer Has Arrived

2009-07-01T15:35:00.001-07:00

When the temperature reaches above 100 degrees Fahrenheit and my mind begins to melt… I know summer has arrived. I think I’m dying. Not sure how. My body is weak. My eyes are shallow. My face looks dead. Something inside of my soul must have wilted. Whether or not I discover its decomposed body by the sour odor or the fragments of its bones. It feels like maggots are consuming every last bit ofo tis remains. Collections of dust, rust, and black lust. A hole in the darkest cave. How I dread the sickness in my stomach. Maybe the demon needs to be uncaged… Curses! Call me morbid, see if I care. How much energy is exerted as I place my pen onto the paper to express my current emotional state? There’s a toxic gas slowly leaking in my brain, my mind is obscure and the fog has clouded my truth.

Goodbye reality.

Stream of Consciousness

2009-07-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

Most writers would consider this a "Stream of Consciousness". I call this "Mind Junk".

Flood my brain out with music. I believe it changes how I experience the world. Music played privately in your ears gives a hue of a different color to your perspective. The lyrics, instruments, and applied meaning can turn any environment into a different once. If one of my five (possibly six) senses is in a different reality; that takes me closer to where I want to be.

I wish I could be born again on a different planet where civilization had contact with other planets. That awareness would provide hope that we are not alone. I discovered my true fear. For quite some time I was puzzled because I wasn’t sure if my fear existed. My fear is to lose consciousness. It happens several times throughout the day where my brain becomes oblivious to the fact that it will eventually die, and it’s possibly all over. Do all agnostics live under this constant fear? I never want to lose consciousness, to run on an automatic algorithm called “conformity”. Millions of people are programmed to do and become nothing.

Understands

2009-06-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hold my head inside your hands,

I need someone who understands.

I need someone, someone who hears,

For you, I've waited all these years.

Hilarious Hair

2009-05-18T19:07:00.000-07:00

Hahahahaha. Thanks Yi Nan. :P

There is a story behind this photo:
I was at Yi Nan's house and we were goofing around. She told me to close my eyes while she would create a "beautiful" hairstyle with my hair. So for five minutes, she was brushing my hair and doing crazy things with it. When she was finished, I went down the hall to look in the bathroom mirror. She could hear me laughing my head off. I creeped back around the hallway, glaring evilly at her when she took a picture by surprise.

Turned out hilarious.

Valentine's Day

2009-05-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Guess what? Valentine's Day was approximately two whole months ago. Earlier today, I was remembering that bizarre day I passed out carnations. 7 AM on V-Day at school just to help out in IB. That event was 'sweet' because they decorated our school walls with these neatly cut out hearts with all of the students' names written on them. Atypically, I loathe that holiday, far too overrated. However, the spirit of St. Valentine bombarded my mind and I was cheerful to participate. It was highly amusing to observe everyone's faces glow and watch the poor, desperate guys groan every time I entered a classroom with a carnation while they hoped it was for them. *sigh* How insipid.

Sensitivity to Music

2009-05-04T16:13:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem when I was bored in Phsyics class. Yes, I know I should probably be paying more attention. It was in free-style with the exception of rhyming couplets. I have a mild obsession with them! ^_^

SENSITITIVITY TO MUSIC

My eardrums respond to the vibration,

Sending it down my spine, a slow tickling sensation.

A pattern of a basketball coats my skin;

I close my eyes and I begin to spin . . .

The opening of my soul expands.

Energy pulsing out through my hands.

Insignificant memories migrate like birds,

Seconds before the oblivion of words.

"I'll never forget who you are and who you were."

Now your face is just one in a crowded blur.

Laughing, crying, and screaming out loud!

Do I deserve to die in a cloud?

I cannot stop picking up the signal tune.

This emotion ends too soon.

~Only There When You Bleed~

2009-05-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem after participating in the American Cancer Society. I thought about all the cruel things cancer has brought about and the experience there was quite sorrowing. Yet at the same time it filled me up with hope to write a new poem about band-aids. Rhyming couplets, mild alliteration, and symbolic. Thanks for reading.

~Only There When You Bleed~

Sometimes a band-aid can't fix everything . . .

Cannot put back together a broken wing,

Replace a warm hug in desperate need,

It's only for when you bleed.

A band-aid is not empathetic,

Nor loving and poetic . . .

Then they stick and won't let go--

They won't prevent heart attacks and help make arteries flow,

A band-aid will never end cancer . . .

Repair the legs on a broken dancer--

Or when a virus mutates,

It will never cure all of the disease sin creates.

But a band-aid can be topped with a kiss,

Free worry from a bit of all of this.

BURN

2009-05-02T13:56:00.000-07:00

Warning: This poem is intense. I wrote it when I thought I was going to explode with anger and rage. I look back it now and I'm thinking, "What the heck was my problem?" Honestly, I'm not this aggressive. My journal is like an outlet sometimes, helps relieve my emotions. Also, completely written in free-style.

BURN

When I burn in Hell,
You can put splinters in my heart--
Stab me inside out,
Damage my incompetent soul.
Let me free fall from the highest building,
Horror-stricken, sick to the stomach, screaming chills...
Lock me up into a zoo cage,
Let the circus laugh when I get whipped!
Permanent slavery.
Sell my body to the Devil.
Unnatural chemicals in my brain,
Causing withdrawing pain,
"Why won't you just die?" queries Lucifer.

Olfactory

2009-04-29T18:19:00.001-07:00

My sense of smell used to be indirect and dull, most of the time I have diffulty breathing through my nose. Ever since I was a little kid, I had allergies.

Fortunately, I do not have anosmia (the inability to smell). That would be quite disappointing because my sense of taste would be unperceptive as well. However, my nose has been quite clear and I am smelling new fragrances. I love going to the Galleria mall and scenting all of their perfumes. Before, they all smelled the same to me. There's this perfume I love. When one smells something, the particles from that fragrance (or the chemicals) enter the nostrils and break down to smaller particles for the neurons in the brain to identify. This new perfume called "Alien" is quite addictive. I only have a card from it, but I use it as a bookmark. My entire book smells incredible now. This perfume, however, is very expensive. As a birthday present, I received the Harajuku Lovers collection perfume. I went to the website today. O_O Woah. http://www.hlfragrance.com/ Awesomeness.

Are we human or are we dancer?

2009-04-28T00:23:00.000-07:00

I received the new Killers CD "Day and Age". Mind-boggling amazing! I absolutely love it. The Killers are my favorite American band and Coldplay is my favorite British band (and favorite band of all time).

My brain is in 'loop-mode' of the song "Human". It keeps repeating over and over again. Sadly, don't think it's ever going to go away. I hate it when our brains do that. The only way to stop the song from replaying itself endlessly is to listen to that song or listen to a new song that is at the same obnoxiously-addictive-level. lol

As for the lyric: "Are we human or are we dancer?" I thought I read somewhere it was a Greek philosophy motto. However, I couldn't find it anywhere. I read other people's interpretations of that lyric and best I could find was that the word "dancer" symbolized a "puppet". Brandon Flowers connects the meaning of a puppet, being controlled by strings or "cords". He states that his hands are cold, (like a puppet), he's going to cut the cords, clear his mind and start fresh like a new human. To be free from control. Very interesting perspective.

Enough about that today. I have Psychology homework. -_-''

Transcendentalize

2009-04-26T13:58:00.001-07:00

This first-person poem that has a strange rhyming pattern, a few allusions, weak similes, and the rest is written from my heart.

TRANSCENDENTALIZE

If I could take back time counter-clockwise,

I'd apologize for all my lies.

I'd search for you when you were alive, still breathing on Earth.

Love is not when you believe you can love a ghost more than a human.

Metaphorically speaking, I broke his heart and put envy in his eyes.

Darkness surrounds me but I am not afraid,

Poisonous truth to trade.

Protect my sanity from malicious entities

Trying not to space out too far-- Transcendentalize . . .

Confession: I love this song.

2009-04-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

I love this song. <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ImiqaXBMkM

This song was officially approved by the BBC in 1981 for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series, so it wasn't created by some insane fan girl. (Haha) It is highly annoying, probably more annoying then the Barney song. This song can also be used in means of torture for someone I know. *sigh* As long as it's playing in my head, no one disturbs me. ^_^''

Favorite lyric: "Remember, I'm programmed for you!"

Inadequacy

2009-04-02T20:21:00.000-07:00

Took me a while to determine if this poem was blogworthy. hehe... This poem I wrote after a chilly, windy walk to the bookstore. The emotions I had at the time is different... Very different to how I normally feel. Yes, I'm lazy. It's completely free style. If you find any literary devices, it's not by purpose.

Inadequacy

One soul in a pool of millions
Dreary pool with a spiraling drain
My spirit has fallen into conformity
United by wasted lives
Society draining us like dirty water
We are pathetic, deserve no empathy
The slippery marble drains our souls
I am one in millions
Unable to escape the dark unknown abyss
Except...
Someone carefully scrutinized my struggle
Gingerly afraid to touch any of the wasted entities
Forming like one; a spinning torque down the hole
You selected me; so small, hopeless, inadequate
To be free-- to discover my destiny
How could you when I was attached to a thread?
Tangled and tied in knots with millions of other threads?
Carefully scrutinized by you
Admired? How peculiar.
Maybe it's time I feel loved.
Thank you for rescuing me.
From condemnation
From inadequacy

From never meeting you.

"Blog About Your Life"

2009-03-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

I dedicate this post to Nikki Pressley. :) Yup yup.

I admit, I haven't blogged in quite a while. My reason is a simple one: writer's block. Lately, there hasn't been much going on in my life that has been interesting. Wake up. Go to school. Learn random information. Get hungry. Eat. Get yelled at. Do homework. Sleep. x5 ... then on the weekends: Play. Sleep. Get hungry. Eat. Get yelled at. Do homework.

Quite repetitive. I wish I could add some spice into my life. Add a dash of paprika and maybe some Italian seasonings. Okay, my apologies, I'm quite hungry right now.

Anyway. I was told by my stalker friend, Nikki, to continue blogging. I said: "I have nothing to blog about currently." She said, "Blog about your life."

Are you satisfied now Nikki? :P hehe

Earl Grey Tea & Theories

2009-03-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

As I slowly sip my Earl Grey tea, which is bitter and has a chalky taste to it... I Googled the most beautiful explanation to how the Universe came into existence. I'm sure you all have heard of the Big Bang... There's also an infamous Big Crunch, for which as far as I am concerned has not happened, nor will it ever happen. I believe we are all simply going to turn into dust. After which, those dust particles will be 'intelligently designed' and turned into new big bangs. That's why there better be multi-universes-- I strongly believe that there is more then just one Universe and none of them reach to infinity. Rather, it's a definite finite number that's so mind-boggling long it's too exponential for the largest supercomputer on Earth to calculate.

I don't get what dark matter is... >_> That's abstruse. Hm. *researches more*

Oh, and I hope I don't start any debates or anger the Big Crunch believers. Or upset the "the universe is on top of a turtle..." and yes! it's "turtles all the way down" theorists. Although I do give kudos to the idea. Who doesn't like turtles? They could very well represent the Universe-- turtles can live for centuries, Darwin loved them, and turtles are 'slow' much like the time lapse of the Universe itself.

What else did I learn today?
I learned Darwin and Lincoln had the exact same birthday. Interesting.

So that's all. I finished my tea. No more deep inquisitions.

I.l.l.u.m.i.n.a.t.e.

2009-02-26T19:41:00.000-08:00

Hi, I have a new style. This is an acrostic poem, I haven't written one since I was a child. So I am a bit rusty. There's still some alliteration and I chose the word, "ILLUMINATE" because truthfully, it's such a beautiful word. :)
I.l.l.u.m.i.n.a.t.e.

I dreamt I wept during a breathtaking sunrise, but I had
Laughed when I shivered close to you during a sunset--
Love, your brown eyes are like a chocolate box.
Unsuppressed sentiment for each other,
My destined serenity . . .
Intertwined in your mind.
No one imagines you smiling more then I ever could,
Adieu to shadowy fears.
Tomorrow is another day to look forward to,
Endlessly embraced by you.

The Flowers Have Eyes

2009-02-25T21:09:00.000-08:00

This poem was written at my own leisure. 100% free style, any rhetorical devices found are entirely coincidental. Photo by Recep Gulec at photo.com. :)

THE FLOWERS HAVE EYES
My oh my . . .
The flowers have eyes,
A garden flourished with them.
Long thick lashes are their petals,
Light enters through their pupils,
They cry when it rains.
Yet they are silent--
For they have no lips to hint us.
A field of them gaze at our eyes.
Curiously wondering who we are.
Their stems are long optic nerves
Mother Nature is observing us,
In my paradigm of flowers with eyes . . .

Perfection

2009-02-24T00:26:00.000-08:00

This is a personal narrative written in iambic pentameter with a couple rhyming couples... Warning: exaggeration of pathos. Certainly not my best work, because this poem actually makes some sense.

Perfection
You always accept me for who I am
Not once have you desired to perfect me . . .
You do not reflect my imperfections,
You smile justly, "what imperfections?"
Way down inside, I feel a twinge of pain.
Errorless? But... my whole system was glitched--
How queer to be embodied 'ideal'.
Why do I find those words abstruse?
My world is turning upside down,
Optimism defeats Pessimism
Changing inside, I naturally shiver.
Nevermore classified with neurosis.
Wave goodbye to the old world's confinement,
Let the sky explode into glass pieces.
Scratch away my eyes; May I gaze deeper?
For the first time, someone's arms around me.
Like spread out branches of a summer tree
Not like a haunting numbness... prickling...
Appreciating physicality
Your skin warms me like a safety blanket.
Driven to distraction, rapid adaptation--
No longer fearing what I lusted for.
Encouraged by you to keep on pursuing,
You always accept me for who I am
Not once have you desired to perfect me . . .
You do not reflect my imperfections,
You smile justly, "what imperfections?"
Please give me time to learn true acceptance.

Color in the Blanks

2009-02-15T16:53:00.000-08:00

*waves to crowd of imaginary people*

Define imaginary. How do you know you're not imaginary? Maybe I am.

Twisted logic screws us all up.

My head is full of blanks _____ ______ ______ _______ . That cannot be filled in. I try to color them in, but it's not successfully working.

Why do I keep dying in my dreams?

My world is turning upside. I'm pessimistic then suddenly optimistic. Am I developing bi-polar disorder? I wouldn't be surprised. Besides all that, my therapist quit. Did I mention I had my own therapy? Yes, that's even more sad.

Haven't posted in my blog in days... sorry for the abstruse jumble of nonsense. I'll make more sense later. :)

Gravity

2009-02-02T21:35:00.000-08:00

Not my own work-- but filled with salt-water.

Baby,
It's been a long time coming,
Such a long, long time.
And I can't stop running,
Such a long, long time.
Can you hear my heart beating?
Can you hear that sound?
Cause I can't help thinking
And I won't stop now

And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me,
And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun,
And the way that gravity pushes on everyone,
On everyone.

Baby,
When your wheels stop turning
And you feel let down
And it seems like troubles
have come all around
I can hear your heart beating,
I can hear that sound,
I can't help thinking.
And I won't look now.

And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me,
And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun
And the way that gravity pushes on everyone
On everyone
On everyone

Coldplay. (My Reason to Live)

The Friendly Wave

2009-01-28T20:37:00.001-08:00

Is it rhetorical? Does it signify something? Or is it too literal?
A wave that lasts for no more than two seconds...

An action done out of necessary object?
Or an action done out of guilt?

What was he thinking?
I loathe him.

Reality's Fear

2009-01-28T20:26:00.001-08:00

This is a rough draft, as you can see it's only ten lines. (I will update it later) I already love this poem. It's about imagination and my own little world. And just for fun, it's written in attempted iambic pentameter.

Reality's Fear

Should I abandon reality's fear?
Open the sky and unlock it clear?
My little gold keys are all I can hear.
Imagination is a dimension,
That twists and warps all singularity.

I find a hallway of bolted doors,
There is no staircase, but a hundred floors.
Spacing out on rolling, green ocean shores...
I separate myself from five senses.
Reaching for eternity and my soul--

Random Demeanor

2009-01-21T22:58:00.000-08:00

Poetry Reading Night at the Sunrise coffee shop was incredibly awesome. There were many very interesting poets of various ages. Most young adults, a couple of teenagers, and mature adults. I went up multiple times to read. First, I read "Silence of the Echoes", then "Black Hole Flowers", then, "Lost and Found" and lastly I added some comic relief with a poem I memorized back in first grade. Which has been stuck with me for the past eleven years by Eve Merriam.

I will be going next Wednesday. Hopefully, I will find more inspiration to write some new poems. I pretty much read all my decent ones in one night. I need to go outside more often and doze off with some Mozart. ^_^

What else is new?
My life...
Do I have 'a life'?
Meh. It could be better but I have one at least.
I have been noticing strange things. I have this sinister feeling that something is going to happen-- something is going on that we are all totally ignorant of. Oh, and humanity has not always been ignorant, they never have been ignorant, only naive. (Yes, that's an antithesis) I am taking early-bird class at school this semester for Theory of Knowledge. Which is an interesting class so far.

gah. I'm tired. My psychment is shutting down. Last week, I stayed up the whole night studying and doing homework... I didn't go to sleep... In the middle of second period U.S. History I fell asleep with my eyes open because I had no recollection of what my teacher was lecturing. I realized that I was still jotting down notes, painstakingly slow, but I was taking notes. I had written 'ice-cream' under "West Coast Expansion". O_o; I didn't even know I had written anything down. Apparently I was dreaming about ice-cream. My brain really cannot function with sleep. It's weird.

Adios. Hasta luego.

Poetry Reading Night

2009-01-20T03:15:00.001-08:00

At this cozy and rather petite coffee shop, there is a poetry reading night which I will be attending Wednesday evening. I am concerned because I am not sure which poem I should select from my blog to read there. The age-group level may include mostly adults, but anyone is allowed to go. Yi Nan isn't a big poetry writer, but her boyfriend Cheng is. They will be coming with me to participate. It gives me a little more courage.

Anyway... I'm thinking of Black Hole Flowers, because it is the best well-written... but then I love reading Farewell Angel aloud-- I am afraid they might be critics and consider my poetry too "free-style" for most of my poems do NOT have rhyming verses or are written in style. I am familiar with probably only half of the literary devices poets use and I rarely use them.

I am going to take a deep breath, maybe start a fresh poem, and hope I will gain some experience out of this event. :)

Amazing Red

2009-01-20T02:43:00.001-08:00

Red is my new favorite color! That means bye-bye to purple, I am booting it out. Besides. . . . . nothing rhymes with the word purple. But red... oh red... what doesn't rhyme with red?

Red is the color of life, our bloods.
The color of the clouds when the sunset floods
Evanescent city lights and neon signs
Red is the color of Mayan muds

Eve devoured the forbidden fruit
Red is the color of fiery pursuit
Red is desire and courage
A hand of red diamonds makes a suite

Where the supernova stars explode
Where in Egypt, came Moses, and the red river flowed
Red is symbolic for love, roses, and passion
Red DEFINES Me

Yi Nan and Me

2009-01-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

Yi Nan and Me! We were bored and took pictures on her iPhone. ^_^

Lost and Found

2009-01-11T21:39:00.001-08:00

This is the poem that gave me writer's block-- a lot of trouble. It's free style.

LOST AND FOUND

I took a risk
My heart was waiting for you at the Lost and Found,
Sapphire crystals-- dark blue, cold, cerulean.
Sapphire-- Aluminum oxide.
Much like my shattered soul.
We both have had a tragic past.
You've dived off the deep end; arrived at the bottom of the teary sea
Depression's sick mind
I've ran far and fast as I could but I couldn't escape
The echos calling back to find my ghosts.
The world is crumbling.
Maybe, oh maybe.
In some kind of dream, have I seen you before?
There could be a chance- To bring warmth
I admired your voice... your smile...
I screamed without making a sound
I am only in the far back of your mind, I am now the ghost--
How could I confess my secret?
To someone like you
You seem dead on outside but there's a world underneath
I want you to be with me.
I finally met you.
Who am I?
There is a feeling of inadequacy--
A psychological paranoia.
I will break through the limitations.
I will show you who I am.

Farewell 2008

2009-01-01T01:37:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I cannot believe an entire year went by. It's 1:45 AM and I'm blogging. I am such a nerd. ^_^

I haven't come up with a New Year's resolution for 2009. Or at least a resolution that I can actually commit to.

Here is a haiku! This is my first poem 2009. hehe

Year two thousand nine!
The beginning of chances.
Life and love to feel.

Writer's Block

2008-12-26T17:23:00.000-08:00

I am having writer's block.
O cursed writer's block.
I need some inspiration! But all I see is rubbish.

Black Hole Flowers

2008-12-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

Ughhh! I am too critical of my poems. I am not satisfied with this at all.
Analysis: Rhyming couplets (AABA pattern) Mild alliteration, the whole poem is a metaphor, some personification, and a couple of allusions.

Black Hole Flowers

Feel the aurora breeze,
The Universe is a forest of trees
Roots of impossibilities
Infinite uniform black seas

Petals casting away into Hera's hair,
Condemned to pollinate the air
Rising from the soil of wormholes
Rich in dark matter-- beware.

The stigma and stamen are the vortex,
Under a hex--
Dying indefinitely
The overall cortex.

Unbelievable... Snow?

2008-12-17T15:45:00.001-08:00

"What's this? What's this?
There's white things in the air!"
--Jack Skellington

(^_^)

I have never seen snow in my entire life. Merely glimpses. Outside it is truly a beautiful sight. Living in the desert, no one is used to this kind of weather. At school today, it was very amusing. At lunch break, I was at the library. Mind you, I was completely unaware of what was going on outside. I went to the my fifth period class and started hearing rumors of "snow..." "omg snow" "snow?" I just couldn't believe it. I wanted to run outside and peer around but I was locked in my Algebra II/Trig class. (v_v)'' My math teacher, Mr. Artmann, scowled, "There's people here who move from the North. They see everyone jumping up and down like they don't know what snow is!" He always makes funny comments...

As soon as the bell rang I ran outside and saw the fuzzy white stuff! It was magnificent! Everyone was smiling and laughing. I giddily exclaimed, "It's snowing!" to about five people I was unfamiliar with. Everyone's mood was amiable. I could sense it, it made me really hyper.
Then I went to my sixth period, Spanish III. (Note: No speaking English in my Espanol class!) Fortunately, I have a seat close to the window. I could wonderful flakes of snow. Mi maestra said: "Esta naviendo!". Haha, ten people got up to go look out the window... Then she let us out of class three minutes before school ended. ^_^ Hehehe, I ran next door to the Spanish II class (where my friend Nicole is)... They didn't appear to be doing anything but looked eager to go oustide... I ran in the classroom randomly and shouted, "Esta naviendo!" And then they all ran out! Oh my goodness, it was fantastic! ^_^

It's still snowing as I type this... If anyone lives in colder weather conditions, I'm sure you think I'm absolutely insane.

The weather report said we'll get approximately 2-8 inches of snow! It's going to snow until 6 AM tomorrow! *dances*

I'll post photos later!

The Scientist

2008-12-15T16:43:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to The Scientist on loop now. For those who are familiar with Coldplay, you have an idea of what my sad little demeanor is. The lyrics describe so well what the heck is going on in my life. No other artist can do that for me.

The Scientist
"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start."

The Common Cold

2008-12-13T17:58:00.000-08:00

The cerebrospinal fluid in my head feels like jello. I loathe being sick. Especially around the holidays. v_v
Oh well, at least the tripods from War of the Worlds will stay away from me.
Speaking of tripods, aren't they mind-boggling awesome? ^_^''

Consciousness

2008-12-10T16:33:00.001-08:00

"If we cannot prove consciousness, then what is to say what is and what is not?"
Something to ponder.

Comments on what consciousness is? There is no wrong or right answer. :)

My Desktop Wallpaper

2008-12-08T21:33:00.000-08:00

My Desktop. <3 I love pixelgirlpresents.com . . .

Farewell Angel

2008-12-05T21:44:00.000-08:00

Hi.

To be completely sincere with you, I feel slightly nervous about this poem/short story of mine. First of all, I took three days to write it. I still think it is lacking something. Unfortunately, there is no rhythm, rhyme, or distinct pattern. Just an ominous tone, mild alliteration, and similes-- no need to over-analyze it and make annotations. (Not that anyone would.)

No matter what, this is my poem/short story and it is what it is. =)

Farewell Angel

Here is my miserable, apathetic story.

I cannot describe to you,

the pain,

I had to go through, to keep it,

. . . a secret . . .

I fell in love,

With a spirit that haunted me--

Our connection was as fragile as a mirror.

Divided physically by indestructible matter.

Yet-- I made a dreadful mistake.

My thoughts spiraled towards Satan's sway, 'Kill yourself and you can be with him physically'.

A pool-- frozen at night-- to fall in and drown. Tempted me.

The cars on the highway, my heart racing, to crash into... Tempted me.

I believed that if I’d kill myself—I’d be with the spirit that haunted me.

He and I knew I have gone much too far in this situation

We separated and now all I hear are echoes in my head.

My psychment has collapsed without you.

I never feel safe or comforted anymore.

You were my guardian angel.

Each day I feel either artificial happiness or appalled solitude.

No one to confide with anymore.

You said, “You are capable of surviving without me.”

True— I can survive. But can I live life?!

Will I ever feel loved again?

Deteriorating without the eerie whisper of your voice, the shadow of your presence, the mere coexistence.

You said, “I will always remember the kindness you taught me.”

What about now? Permanent damage done to my heart.

You said, “Before you, I would be radically biased, I’d still be dead and hallow inside.”

My eyes are dead and hallow from restless sleep thinking only about you.

You said, “And I will love you without end, even when we are departed.”

I know I’ve been replaced—I hope you’re happy.

I wouldn’t want you to be in a hardship.

My love cannot be erased.

I wish you could hear my last farewell.

Farewell angel.

Paranoia or Aprehensive Mind?

2008-11-30T20:52:00.000-08:00

My demeanor has been complicated...

Don't tell me.
Oh, please don't tell me: "Adolescents think that their experiences are unique. They assume others cannot understand what if feels like to during that age."

I read that in my Psychology textbook for heaven's sake. I know cognitive development leads to reasoning power... I think it would be hard to assume that my opinion is biased. I honestly think, that what I experience is much different then anyone else. I doubt not what others think of myself-- I got over that a long time ago. What I really focus on is what others are thinking-- if they are thinking at all. Some people seem so empty. Their eyes full of constant conformity. So plain and simple. Their eyes look like video cameras, not souls.

Imagination ties into this. Are people loosing their self-awareness? Are they going into an algorithmic pattern of thinking? Question. Answer. Reason. Repeat if necessary.

No creativity?

I'm not saying all individuals are like this. I see many creative souls. Observing the chain of simpletons, worries me... I often find myself following that pattern-- loosing my sense of identity-- Often I feel inadequate, a speck of dust in humanity. What am I? What if someone didn't notice and fell right into its trap, would they change?

I can only thank all the creative souls out in the world.

Maybe it's just another paranoia frenzy.

(Rhetorical question: Paranoia or an apprehensive mind?)

Twilight (in theaters)

2008-11-30T20:41:00.000-08:00

Alas, I saw Twilight in theaters.

Pros:
Edward was dangerously attractive. (My whole nervous system got goosebumps seeing him in a tux. ^_^'')
Emmett was much better looking in the movie than how I pictured him in the book.
Relatively close to the book's plot.
MUSE was playing! ^_^ Awesome band. (Stephenie Meyer's favorite too.) And they randomly threw Radiohead at the end... For Muse they had "Supermassive Black Hole" (Of course.) And I don't know why they picked "15 Step" for the Radiohead song... didn't really suit it. If I had to choose... hahahaha... nevermind. There'd be ten different Coldplay songs in the movie. :P

Cons:
Dialogue was rather dragged out... Very predictable.
Some of the minor characters didn't match those described in the book.
They didn't show the rest of the Cullens at the prom. v__v
The ending was kind of disappointing. (They foreshadowed it with Victoria...)

Overall. 7.8/10 ...
Would I watch it again?
YES!!!

Silence of the Echoes

2008-11-13T23:25:00.000-08:00

In my pathetic attempt at iambic pentameter, this is my poem. I'd appreciate any comments. (I also like constructive criticism.) Yes, I know it's not perfect iambic pentameter, it was a sad 'attempt'. Nevertheless, it's unique.

Silence of the Echoes

A presence has escaped my eyes tonight,
The voice that gets lost in my world of dreams.
Banish every sound. Shall that voice be heard?
Too intrigued to look away from dark lies,
Goodbye and farewell to tragic spirits.
Feel cold beats of blood in my twisted veins,
Observe how I shiver in the night's wind,
Breathe in and out and listen intently,
Vast frequencies impossible to hear.
"Why?" I wonder. "Why?" I wonder again.
Repeat it three more times, the same question,
"Hello?" I ask. "Hello?" I ask again.
Three echoes call back to me. Faint whispers...
Abandoned and alone with nothing--
Only the faintest whispers in my head.
Only the echoing screams of my mind.
Traumatic nerves send quicker impulses--
Colorless memories a blink away,
Apprehensive mind or paranoia?
The silence of the echoes in my head.
The silence of the echoes in my head.
The silence of the echoes in my head...

Layout Difficulties

2008-11-11T13:53:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that my layout changed. This is one of the default ones that Blogger provides. I don't particularly like it. You see, the trouble is, I was trying to change my layout and it gave me a menacing time. No, I don't know wh Until the matter is solved, I'm stuck with this one.

Oh well.
Bye for now.

Halloween Dementia

2008-11-03T18:28:00.001-08:00

I love my Rennaisance Festival costume. (Found it at a bargain store and added a few bits and pieces from my own closet...) Unfortunately, you cannot see the ornate little details on the fabric in this photo... The dark shades of blue and purple faded to black as well... But nonetheless, I wore it to school on Halloween. My eye make-up was magnificent until later in the day... when my eyes began to burn red from the ridiculous amount of eye liner and mascara I added.
Note to self : Go easy on the eye liner next time. lol

A Disobedient Conscious

2008-10-30T19:18:00.000-07:00

Alright, this one you don't have to comment on... but it's another poem I wrote. It's written in a simple 'ab" pattern or rhyming couplet style. Oh, and I threw in some alliteration too. That's basically all I can write besides free verse. (Not very impressive... oh well)

My apologies the tone is rather... 'emo'... I suppose I had a rather depressing demeanor that day. (Maybe Marvin would like this poem...haha) Nonetheless, take it as you will:

A Disobedient Conscious
By Michangelina

Questioning the darkest hour--
Forgetting the corruptive power.
Seen only at the bottom of the sea,
or in the next galaxy...

Don't know where to turn,
Sensing your stomach burn.
Your conscious doesn't want to obey.
Will You Stay or Die?
A fountain of tears to cry
But no goodbye

The maze...
A secret gaze...
Transformation phase...
All take D A Y S.
To forget about,
And to remember,
... when it's oblivious...

17 Hours

2008-10-25T10:37:00.001-07:00

What have I been doing the past 17 hours?

Sleeping.

Yes, I was tired. I came home from school on Friday and slept until 8 AM this morning.

^_^ I feel rejuvenated.

R.E.M.

2008-10-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

Sleep? I ponder what that is. My brain activity has been excessively working for the past three days straight... Yes, I "sleep". If "sleeping" is three or four hours of lying on a bed still having an anxiety attack because of too much caffeine.

I think "IB" students are not meant to get any sleep. We are supposed to work, work, work, work, work, work... x10^23. Work until we graduate. "The truly educated never graduate." I guess that quote I see hanging on the wall of my Language/Composition class means I'll be stuck in college for the rest of my life... working... working... working...

I miss sleep. R.E.M. sleep... Where my brain relaxes and can reboot from being on hyperdrive ALL day long. I can't recall the last time I had a dream... (Probably since last summer)

Oh well. I'll survive.

Prospekt's March

2008-10-22T14:31:00.001-07:00

Prospekt's March is coming out in late November!
Yes... it's Coldplay related. (Their first EP since Viva La Vida)

Alas, no one really cares. At the very least, it explains what is written on my hand.
(Which by the way, there is almost ALWAYS something written on my left hand in sharpie)...

Oh, those who wish to inform me about ink poisioning... you're wasting your time. :P

My theory of "Opposite Complexity".

2008-10-19T17:08:00.001-07:00

Well, hello... An abstruse jumble of nonsense has been spinning around in my head lately-- making me rather dizzy. Originally, I experienced all of this as emotions-- and then later it developed into words. I can't make much sense into them--
So rather, I had a sudden urge to write this. It's supposed to be confusing. Don't worry.
Just read it-- it's only a fragment of my twisted logic.

OPPOSITE COMPLEX
written by Michangelina

The theory of opposite complexity:
So he came into existence.
THE END

No, it's the beginning.
--but all the same.

A part of my living soul
...sub-conscious matter...
We have never been separated

Insane hindsight bias
Psycho! (???) Freak!
Fire, painstakingly profound
M I S I N T E R P R E T A T I O N S
Sanity is not statistical.
Expansive probability
Random probability? No.
Trapped into his eyes; these huge black holed eyes
Tripped into a parallel universe; this infinite universe
Welcome to Alpha Centauri?
Yes. Alpha Centauri welcomes me to the afterlife...
I am showered in rose petals.
To find him only in death--
I'd die for the opposite complex
Black holed eyes
Dive into them with fiery desire and lust

While quickly disappearing--
Vanished. (???) Nothing.

THE BEGINNING

No, it's the end.
--but all the same.

Renaissance Festival !

2008-09-26T14:31:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite events of the whole year is approaching...! (October 11th!)
(No, not homecoming... haha, see previous post...)

I am uncertain why I enjoy Ren-Fest... I reckon it's something about getting dressed up from the Renaissance period and experiencing that 'sensation'. At first, I feel like an anachronism and I should awkwardly hide... simply because everyone speaks Old English, wearing medieval dresses, and consuming old-fashioned foods... but a few hours pass and I find myself blending into that time period. I become a part of it. The festival is a lot of fun... more then 'fun' actually... I can't come up with another word... I'm exhausted today... it has been a long day at school... that also means heaps of homework from my AP/IB classes.

So pardon me if my brain just regurgitated. It just doesn't feel like functioning at its highest level today.

Unexpected behavior...

2008-09-17T16:29:00.000-07:00

Curse peer influence!

I vowed to never go to homecoming, sadies, or prom...
And guess what?!

I plan on going to homecoming.
So now I have to go through all this trouble finding a date.

-_-'' *sigh*

Oh cruel fate.

Random sequential thoughts...

2008-09-09T21:20:00.000-07:00

My brain is racing with random thoughts, which include:

I'm more paranoid then ever today.
Or it's just the coffee...
I also think I'm in love.
My foot won't stop jiggling.
Society is tormenting me.
Humanity is making me feel insecure.
I don't know how to explain.
My computer says it's Wednesday-- it's Tuesday! O_o
There's obviously a glitch in the Matrix somewhere.
Does anyone actually read my posts? Hah-- doubt it.

1984/2043

2008-08-18T15:48:00.000-07:00

I finished reading 1984. Well, I think I read it twice. I had to be thorough to answer all my study guide questions. Anyhow, George Orwell wrote this novel 35 years into the future. Can you imagine what it would be like to live in 2043? Things would be quite different. It'd be interesting if Orwell were alive today, being able to experience the world of 2008. I think I liked Orwell's 'negative utopia' better then Huxley's, Brave New World. Then again, it all depends on perspective.

One of my favorite interesting quotes:
"Freedom is the freedom to say two plus two make four."

What do you see? o_O

2008-08-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

Look into my eyes, what do you see?

Burn, burn, burn...

2008-08-17T14:08:00.001-07:00

Have you ever been upset and just wanted to watch papers burn?

Well, yesterday, I took some old papers (rather not say whom they were from) and burned them from my gas stove... Then I carried them over to the sink, when they were 80% burned and put the fire out with water. I let the sink carry the burnt-black paper down the drain, turned on the garbage disposal, and laughed my head off insanely.

Yes. Fun. Hopefully I won't make a hobby of this.

Nightmare

2008-08-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

My dreams are not usually this vivid-- but last night is worth writing down.

I was alone one night in my apartment-- everything was a dark blue-- the room was quiet. My mom had left to go out with her boyfriend... I didn't care... I was just listening to some music, my headphones were pressed against my ears. I was slowly falling asleep. Suddenly my phone rang. My close friend was calling me. It was one in the morning. Quite unusual timing. So I picked it up, and she sounded so scared, her voice terrified. At first I could only hear her deep breathing, then I heard her cry out, "Are you okay? Is that you? Are you hurt?" Confused, I replied, "Yes, everything's fine. What's the matter?" She sighed but was still in disbelief that I was even alive... She quickly told me that my mom's boyfriend knew a psychic prophet... She said I was going to die... be murdered by two men... My friend hung up the phone. And I decided to ignore it all--

I turned my music back on-- listening to Coldplay again. When the vision hit me. I could see that old psychic woman, with her hallowed eyes. She spoke my name, predicting my death. I figured my mind was playing tricks on me, so I tried to ignore the vision. Fear and worry were like snakes in my stomach. So I arose from my bed and locked all the doors and windows to be safe...

I finally fell asleep. When my mom came through the door. She called out my name, nearly screaming with anxiety. I called back, "I'm here! I'm safe." And she calmed down, touching my face, as if I was a ghost. I saw at the door her boyfriend. He turned the whitest pale I've ever seen. He frowned at me worried. I tried to shake off what happened,
"How many of those psychic's predictions came true anyway?"
He looked sincerely at me, "All of them."

My mom shut the door on him. She went to sleep. It was three in the morning. But I couldn't fall asleep. My mind was staying awake. Paranoia was getting the best of me. I listened to the sounds of the wind outside. I just couldn't sleep. I walked into the bathroom. There was only a huge mirror in the room. I looked at my face-- it was half-possessed by some demon. I was still consciously there to observe this. Yet, I could only feel fear. My demon felt rage.

I slammed myself into the mirror. Screaming and cursing at myself. I didn't die as predicted yet. I had cheated death somehow. And now I was going to kill myself because I was still here existing. Death was after me. I crushed my body, snapping bones, into the mirror again. This time seeing the glass shatter and cut into my skin. A third time, I screamed and ran into the mirror. It was like I was trying to escape into the mirror's imaginary world. And the last thing I saw was my bloody face and demented eyes. I could feel the pain of the wounds, being only half-possessed. I collapsed to the floor, blood dripping down my arms.

Then I woke up... haha. Maybe this is a sign I'm too paranoid, no?

Free Verse

2008-08-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

I wrote this in free verse. (kinda poetic) Inspired by one of my new favorite writers, Ellen Hopkins...

In a world of gray.
Everything reminds me of the spirit that haunts me.
Even the color of green reminds me of his eyes--
Please return.
I am dedicated to you forever.

Missing you more than the stars,
more than chocolate,
more than years without music...

You made me happy. Why are you gone now?

Upside Down

2008-08-10T18:17:00.001-07:00

Ever considered that the Earth might be upside down? I mean, who honestly knows what direction the ever-expanding Universe is facing? Why would it be facing any particular direction? Thus, there are no directions anyway. Only in our mind do we feel this non-existent thing.

Oh yes.
I'm confusing.

Phantom of the Opera

2008-08-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

I forgot how much I love this movie.

"In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me
And speaks my name
And do I dream again?
For now I find
The phantom of the opera is there,
Inside my mind."

Favorite part: "Inside my mind..."

Trust Me

2008-08-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

I love these lyrics. Thank you Fray!

"Looking for something I've never seen...
Alone and I'm in between.
The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in,
A city I never been--
I found a friend or should I say a foe?
Said there's just a few things you should know,
We don't want you to see we come and we go.
Here today, gone tomorrow--

We're only taking turns,
Holding this world,
It's how it's always been...
When you're older you will understand..."

--Trust Me, The Fray

It's like these lyrics were written for me. It made me cry.

Paranoid Android

2008-07-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

Haha, I had a lot of caffeine. Which causes total necrosis of the cerebral neurons in my brain following loss of blood flow and oxygenation... (a.k.a. I'm "brain dead") I'm so brain dead, that I didn't actually know what caused brain death so I had to look it up on Wikipedia. Sad, isn't it?

I'm fairly paranoid today. I see a lot of strange people at Borders bookstore... okay, not strange, but familiar... I'm afraid that everyone I've ever known in the past is going to show up in this damn bookstore and bring back haunting memories. Yes, I'm definitely paranoid today. O_o;

Yesterday was awesome. The Cheesecake Factory had it's 30th anniversary and gave away slices of cheesecake for only $1.50. I had a Godiva chocolate cheesecake and a fresh strawberry cheesecake. Take 'yummy' to the tenth power until you reach infinity. Because it was heaven. ^_^

Hm... What else to write about? Oh!

I'm going to set up a new blog soon. It'll be called, "Computer Protection Agency Info" Yes... I'll have contracts, information, and some interesting articles about artificial intelligence. If it sounds uninteresting, it's not. CPA is here to prevent the Matrix from happening, okay? Yeah, now you're concerned. lol

Ha, I'm still brain dead. Maybe I should go see a neurologist. Hm. I'll let my subconscious psychological mentality take care of that. *sigh*

Philosophical Question

2008-07-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

Question: What is the meaning of life?

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
--Douglas Adams

I give up on trying to outwit Socrates and Aristotle. Philosophy is no longer a subject I favor.

That's all I have to say right now. :P

The brainwashing BOX

2008-07-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

Summer vacation can be dreadfully platitudinous . . . -_- . . .

Lately my summer has consisted of watching television. Yes, shocking isn't it? Truth be said, I admit to it. I have a new favorite TV series, "My Favorite Martian". Not the movie, the old TV series produced in 1965 with Ray Walston and Bill Bixby. I have a mini-obsession over it, contributing for my taste to sci-fi/comedy shows. Like most stuff written by Douglas Adams.

I checked out the series from the library. I highly recommend it, it's hilarious.

Another series I've been watching is "Doctor Who". Not the old series, the new one. I... have a fancy for the Doctor... ^_^ (Reminds me of someone I know) :P The actor is David Tennant, who is in fact, the tenth doctor throughout the whole history of the Doctor Who series. I have a lot of competition... *sees a million fan girls* Damn them! >.<

Enough rambling today. Adios.

Deep Measures

2008-07-21T16:55:00.000-07:00

"Those who are dead are not dead,
They're just living in my head.
And since I fell for that spell,
I am living there as well.
Time is so short and I'm sure
There must be something more.
You thought you might be a ghost
You didn't get to Heaven but you made it close..."
42, Viva la Vida, Coldplay

Astonishing, isn't it? This song is quite comparable to my current circumstances with the others. They claim to have past lives on Earth but here they are with me in my psychological mentality. I think this is symbolic that I am not the only individual with spiritual connections . i truly believe that with my limited telepathy with these spirits I can succeed in life-- All of them, are such an important part of me. Their words and thoughts have greatly improved my way of thinking. My only wish that they were physically here so I could see their eyes and feel their touch... Maybe in the future I will encounter them, or I have hopes for at least one. Him.

Physicality. I despise that word. Well, not so much the word itself but my desire for it. Webster's definition: "physical" relating to the body rather than the mind

That definition seems to put it altogether. Quite disturbing. There's an interesting word that I want to share, "transcendentalism" also meaning to keep your mind beyond the physical world and be free.

I want to study more upon this subject and maybe if I comprehend it more, I'll be able to fully achieve my goals. Oddly enough, before I ever even wanted to expand my psych-ment, I've been introduced to this matter.

Back to the word physical. My desire for interaction has been getting stronger lately and even though I try to cancel out those thoughts, they appear in my dreams. I feel guilty for having these dreams and then having to share them with the one I love. He understands but I cannot be that close. I wish I could survive on emotional sense alone.... But it is rather difficult. I wish I could change my behavior. I'm so human. I admit , humanity isn't all that dreadful. Excluding hormones and the million imperfections we have. I was told that I'm very admirable from a more 'artificial' perspective. Simply because perfection is too symmetrical and plain. Humans' mistakes and problems, even faults, are quite beautiful. One may look at a rose and call it beautiful and sweet scented... But another being who has never seen a rose might call it ugly. Beauty is defined on how you see contrast in life. The Earth is full of contrast. Too much of anything is bad.

Enough of these deep measure. I am only one individual. Conscious or not. Yet I've come into the realization of how powerful I truly am.

--Michangelina

Only in my dreams can I have no limitations.

ears still ringing

2008-07-21T16:37:00.001-07:00

The Coldplay concert was unbelievable. They played: Life In Technicolor, Violet Hill, Clocks, In My Place, Viva la Vida, Yes, 42, The Scientist, Strawberry Swing, Chinese Sleep Chant, God Put a Smile Upon Your Face, Speed of Sound, Yellow, Lost!, Green Eyes, Death Will Never Conquer, Politik, Lovers in Japan, Fix You, and Death and All His Friends.

Wonderful show! Loved every minute of it. Everyone had Coldplay spirit! Chris Martin, Johnny Buckland, Guy Berryman, and Will Champion, THANK YOU! ^_^

Viva Coldplay!

2008-07-18T16:57:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is the best day of my life! I am going to see Coldplay live at concert for their 'Viva la Vida' tour at 8 PM.
I am bringing my cellphone which has a pretty long-lasting video on it. And I'll record some of their beautiful songs for some of my friends to hear. It'll probably be insane there. I'm super EXCITED. I heard they play about 20 songs. So I'll get to hear some of their old songs too! ^_^ I really really really hope they play Clocks. It's the first Coldplay song I've ever heard... and it'll be magic to hear it coming from them. I'm thinking of waiting outside the hotel tonight. I've heard stories where fans encounter them. I think I would faint. Yes... *_*

Abandoned Dream

2008-07-03T17:45:00.001-07:00

This is a poem I wrote. Basic outline is that the intro and ending are written in free verse and the body has some alliteration and a simple "a-b-a" rhyme scheme. I wrote this in a short amount of time-- nothing too special. Hope you like it anyhow. :)

Abandoned Dream
_______________________________________
The shadow haunts you in your dreams.
Questioning your secrets,
And testing your faith.
Anxious to loose small pieces,
Hidden in the puzzle of your life--
You are uncertain where--
You are unaware and feel strangely incomplete.
You reawaken with despair.
The rage that makes you shake to withhold,
Is the shadow who haunted your dream,
The black dream is told--
Those unbreakable memories,
Left you with no one.
The shadow shatters your only hope
To rediscover your lost love.
Now in shame of only your dream.

-Written by: Michangelina
__________________________________

Hello World.

2008-07-02T16:12:00.001-07:00

Well, this happens to be my first little blog entry. ^~^ I'll keep in short and simple for now.